Tuesday, August 18, 2015

Blessed are They Who Mourn

Early Thursday morning, October 30th, 2014, I lost the love of my life.  It has been nearly a year since Alan flew away to heaven.  I was blessed to share 31 wonderful years with this precious, creative man.  I miss him more than I can put into words.

Something beautiful happened after my Beloved left us.  I could not sleep those first few days--I kept reliving the moments he fought to live.

I remembered giving Alan CPR until the ambulance came...I remembered counting, as I was pressing my hands against his heart, blowing my breath into his lungs--his lips against mine.  He had tried so hard to come back to us.   

A day later in the early morning hours, I lay on the sofa, my eyes closed, weeping.  It just didn't seem real.  How could my world go on without him in it?  Then suddenly a cool, sweet breeze slid across my face...and I felt my Beloved's dear lips press softly against mine.  My husband kissed me goodbye.

I am grateful for the astonishing memory of that last kiss--His lips touching mine in love--a beautiful, miraculous good-bye from my Beloved.  That memory is the one to which I cling.  The love we shared was truly an extraordinary one. 

Alan was a servant of God and He loved people. He wanted everyone to know God loved them too, and so I am passing his message on to you dear ones--God loves you.  He longs to know you, God wants to share His Son and the world He created for you--in a whole different way than you've ever known.

"Blessed are they who mourn, for they shall be comforted."
  Matthew 5:4


  1. What a heart breaking post. I feel you pain as I have came close more than once losing my Alan. You are blessed to have experienced this. God Bless you.

  2. What a beautiful story. How lovely that he was able to linger long enough to really kiss you goodbye.

    Blessings to you & hugs,

  3. how lovely that you were given that kiss
    a lovely gift from your beloved
    something that crosses the barriers of mind
    into the realm of forever
    sending love as a year has nearly passed

  4. Thinking of you today, Dear Heart. May the God of all comfort hold you in his arms of love tonight.
    Blessing hugs,

  5. Oh Beth, my heart is so sore to read this. My love goes out to you.xxx

  6. Oh dear one i cry everytime I hear this story... it breaks my heart and touches my soul. love you, Wendy